It’s becoming a running theme in contemporary horror films to save the scares for the last half hour – and The Hoard is no different. A mockumentary that’s a cross between A&E’s Hoarders and Paranormal Activity, the film seemed to spend more time building its nonsensical characters and buried the core of the story beneath the rubble.
The Hoard follows a production team in Rockford, Ohio, as they try to create the ultimate reality show pilot: Extremely Haunted Hoarders. According to the town’s people, they are suffering from an epidemic with “the most hoarders per capita in the U.S.”
The would-be show is hosted by Sheila Smyth (Lisa Solberg), a professional organizer, and Dr. Lance Ebe (Tony Burgess), a psychotherapist with an alarming patient relapse rate of 94%. The rest of their team include ghost hunters Caleb and Chloe Black (Ry Barrett and Elma Begovic), and renovators Derek ‘Duke’ Jago (Marcus Ludlow) and The Falcon (Justin Darmanin). Together, they attempt to help hoarder Murph Evans clean up his act, but find themselves in the midst of something far more sinister.
While the mockumentary is dead on with its reality TV set-up, The Hoard came across as a film that didn’t know what lane it was trying to occupy. Everything was comedic (using that term loosely here) until it wasn’t. To be perfectly honest, it could easily be summed up using one of its own lines: “This is the first time I have felt personally threatened by trash.”