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It’s been over a year since I wrote my last blog post.  You see, I had a baby.  And while I went on maternity leave from my nine to five job, I didn’t anticipate going on maternity leave from blogging. How naive was I.  My “writing time” became “baby time.”  More accurately, all of my time became baby time. As I’m sure most new parents can attest to, those early weeks and months of parenthood are like being in a zombie-like state complete with the slow dragging walk and constant wakefulness.  Time is no longer your own and sleep and energy become non-existent.  “Nap when your baby naps,” I read countless times.  But what happens when your baby never naps or only sleeps when glued to you?  I thought I’d blog while my baby slept.  Clearly I underestimated the degree of sleep deprivation I’d suffer from and the total lack of creative energy I’d have as a result.  Because my daughter was very colicky for nearly five straight months and would only sleep while being held, I used the time I couldn’t devote to thinking up and typing out blog posts to doing what I’ve always loved to do: watch movies.

I have to admit, those early months of being up all night and surviving on two or three hours of sleep a day tested me physically and emotionally like nothing ever had before.  In those wee hours of the morning while my daughter slept soundly in my arms after I made numerous attempts to lay her down in her bassinet, I watched movies.  Movies became a comfort and a salvation for me as I adjusted to being awake almost all day and night.  Movies helped me get to the hour when my husband and I would switch “shifts” and it would be my turn to sleep briefly.  Movies helped me during those trying days when my daughter would cry uninterrupted for hours at a time and I couldn’t hear the volume of the movies over her cries, but it didn’t matter because I’d seen the movies so many times that I knew what was being said and what was going on (oh, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Weird Science, how well I’ve come to know thee.)

I became acutely aware; certainly in a way that I never fully appreciated before, that movies have the unique ability to make me feel better and that to escape reality even briefly is itself a special form of rest and rejuvenation.  When I think back to those sleepless nights with my daughter sound asleep and cradled in my arms while watching 80’s films that I love, I smile.  Though the sleeplessness was hard, cuddling with my baby while engaging in my favourite hobby of watching films was pretty special.  When my daughter grows up I’ll tell her about those days and nights she spent asleep in my arms while we sit down with a bucket of popcorn and a good movie, just like when she was a newborn and I was a new mom.

12 Comments

  1. I can definitely understand the challenge of doing anything else when that first baby arrives, especially if they aren’t a great sleeper. We now have two girls and are relieved that our second is a much better sleeper overall. She still has her moments being 11 months old and hasn’t totally grasped it, but it’s nothing like the first time. I didn’t start my blog until our daughter was almost 2; I couldn’t imagine trying to write during their first few months.

    1. It was definitely the most challenging time in my life. My daughter has developed into a decent sleeper now, so I’m slowly trying to re-introduce things back into my life, like blogging, that I had to give up for awhile. It’s definitely a fine balancing act!

  2. I know what you mean my babies are not tiny now but i am still lucky if i get 3 hours of sleep a night. I have 4 children ages 2, 4, 10, and 18 they are never all on the same schedule so one of them is almost always screaming or asking for something and on the very rare occasion they are all taken care of and don’t need anything , my husband does so I’m tired.lol you should check out my blog if you have a chance mommyx4boys.wordpress.com

      1. Yes i do. Right now my 10 year old wants to watch kickin it my 4 year old wants lazy town and my 2 year old wants mickey mouse clubhouse . So everybody is whining

    1. The parent’s club is an empathetic one for sure.

      Thanks for the welcome – it feels good to be back!

  3. My daughter was born almost exactly a year ago, so I’m right there with you! I definitely watched a ton of TV in the first few weeks, and movies I’d seen before, but I thought I’d be able to watch more new-to-me movies than I was. Turns out watching anything longer than a half-hour that I hadn’t seen before in a sleep-deprived state was not a winning proposition.

    I’ve only started to feel like I’m getting my blogging groove back now, but I’m definitely having to remind myself to keep the pace slow and not start the umpteen post series and marathons that are rolling around in my head. It’s an adjustment for sure, and figuring out the right balance is long-term activity, I think – as soon as I think I know how much time I have, she changes up her schedule and I have to plan everything all over again!

    1. I couldn’t agree more! Watching anything new in those first few months was pointless, which is why I stuck to films that I had seen many times before.

      I’m also trying to find a balance, which is proving quite difficult. I still haven’t figured out how to carve out as much time as I’d like for blogging, and I’ve come to the realization that that’s the way it’s going to be, at least for now. I will have to write when I can even if it’s only a few hours a week which results in only one blog post a week or even one a month if that’s what my output is. I know it won’t be like this forever!

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